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Two dwarfs
Two dwarfs have just been released from prison and are dying for some sex, so they pick up two prostitutes and take them to a hotel and book two rooms, A and B. So the dwarf in room A is getting ready to shag the girl, but unfortunatly, he can't get a hard-on. The walls at the cheap motel were paper thin, and he keeps hearing his buddy in room B going "1,2,3 huh" "1,2,3 huh" and thinks to himself "I can't believe this". So, in the morning the dwarf in room B goes "How was your night?" The dwarf from room A goes "It was terrible, I couldn't get a hard-on. The dwarf in room B goes "well, it wasn't as bad as mine, I couldn't even get on the damn bed!"
A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!" So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!" Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."
One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, "Mom... What have you been doing all your life? Dad's been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!" Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them, he's not really your father!"