August 8th 2006
Dwarf in a bar
Two guys were at a bar arguing with their friend who was a dwarf. Suddenly out of nowhere, the Pope walks into the bar! "Oh my god its the pope " they all say at once "the dwarf says to the guys 'That's it I'm going ask him." So he walks up to the Pope and asks "Sir, are there dwarf nuns in America?", "No, no, no." says the Pope "Are there dwarf nuns in the entire world?" "No, no, no." says the Pope "Are there even such things as dwarf nuns?" "No, no, no." says the Pope. His friends burst out chanting, "Joe screwed a penguin, Joe screwed a penguin..."
Giraffe in a bar
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe and they proceed to get blitzed. The giraffe drinks so much it passes out on the floor. The man gets up and heads for the door to leave when the bartender yells, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The drunk replies, "That's not a lion! It's a giraffe."
Love stamps and pink envelopes
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 random Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.