The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage. He proceeds to take off his pants and throws them at her. He says, "Put those on." The bride replies, "I can't wear your pants." He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!" The bride takes off her panties and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!" He replies,"I can't get into your panties!" "And you never will if you don't change your attitude."

One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden. "You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..." Next morning the little man wakes the woman up. "Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies. "That's amazing", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"