November 23rd 2006
Redneck Thanksgiving
You Might Be Having A Redneck Thanksgiving If:
You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.
Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.
You've ever re-used a paper plate.
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say
Cool Whip on the side.
If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.
Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them.
Your stuffings secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.
Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.
Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
Your secret family recipe is illegal.
You serve Vienna Sausage as an appetizer.
Short Thanksgiving jokes
Why didn't the turkey want any lunch?
He was already stuffed!
Why do pilgrims pants keep falling down?
Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
What did the widowed mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside!
What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?
Breakfast or lunch!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE
Why can't you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot
Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play
Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him
What is the key to a good Thanksgiving dinner?
The tur-key!