13 rules to make sure that you survive Halloween!

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

4. Never accept invitations from strangers, especially individuals who live in isolated areas and have no contact with society.

5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

6. If you're searching for the cause of a noise and find out that it's not just the cat, leave the room immediately!

7. If appliances start operating themselves, move out.

8. Do not take anything from the dead.

9. If you find a town which is deserted, it's probably that way for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.

10. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you are sure that you know what you are doing.

11. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, The Bermuda Triangle, or any small town of Maine.

12. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help.

13. Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.

Halloween quick jokes